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Saturday 27 August 2016

Show not Tell

Malo, In room 1 with Mr Wiseman ,Mrs Nua came and talked about Show not Tell, Our topic is Cross Country day, I had wrote a paragraph showing not telling after the race. Oh and please comment if I have any mistakes Thank you.


Show not Tell paragraph 


Once I flashed past Miss Berry like a cheetah my heart was pounding like the beat of a drum. As I approached to the finish line I could hear the roar of the crowds, Once I passed the finish line I felt like I was going fall in a pile of humongous clouds of pins. I needed a glass of water so  I grabbed the cup with all my might and drank it, It dripped on my shirt like ice that melts into my hot steaming shirt.

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